Relationship-wise

I'm really tired right now and may be even able to fall asleep without any pills tonight.
Anyway, I feel the need to write this blog.
There is nothing serious to assume: I still consider myself single and remain with the same feelings with anyone it would be assumed I have feelings for.
My thought is that maybe I am being set up for structure and shaken into having a stronger bias with people. It really bothers me. I really was relieved when I saw a snowflake commercial with the military. With the world around me and all of the groups, its nice to feel that one group is being more obvious with an agenda. I don't know if the military is fighting hardcore and intricately with racism, or if it leans toward stereotypes that result in slave labor and human trafficking. I really don't know. But, its nice to feel a mutual sense of acknowledged purpose/passion with someone.

In a predictable defensive posture; I also do not like the idea that some could simplify me for being militant because nobody likes me or that I am aggressively forcing someone to love me, or else.
That judgement bothers me.

The actual military is probably defined differently with their projects and missions.

But as for me personally, I really don't feel like I am forcing someone to love me. I see myself as being defensive more than anything. The truth is that I have faced discrimination, profiling, and abuse of all sorts.
Like I have previously said, I will not deny myself of having any human rights. I don't think any human should be denied of human rights.
Still, corruption happens all of the time.

But back to what I wanted to talk about the most: the idea of relationships.
To really sum it up; I would think that most percieve relationships as a battle of strength. I hate the mentality and cycle of it all.
I hate that some relationships create communistic battles as a serious controlling mechanism for battle of submission (whether it is admitted or not). In all sorts of parts of a person's life.
But even outside a social network, a work place, some sort of organization or group, is the idea of the one on one relationship itself.
I still hate that the common conformity is that it is wrong for a man to have vulnerability. I hate the idea that the guy may be considered a "wimp," or whatever if he is the one to show some or more vulnerability to whoever he is with.
I still hate the continued discrimination of the body a person was born with. I hate that this is being made such a big deal, because I feel like I have to be forced into a pigeon holed corner to decide one way or another: nature or plastic surgery. Not just speaking me but the general population.
Anyway, even beyond that is still the continued battle of strength. Some people like games, some don't. I'm one of the people who doesn't. I typically do not use another man to make another man jealous. Despite all of the chaos and assumptions made in my life, I wouldn't be bisexual to be the winner in a battle of strength.
I seriously do not mind being on my own (sometimes its tougher than others) until the right man comes along. Even though I'm at a lot of negative odds with Russia right now, the reminder and acknowledgement of the value of waiting is something I share a mutual value with.
With some religious; I hate how judgement is used against me concerning number of partners. I don't want to get in a huge debate over it, but it bothers me, and I think it is another factor when it comes to the relentless battle of strength.
Sometimes, I really do hate the pressure. Even when people agree that it's not a big deal to be single, I still hate the lack of acknowledgement/acceptance/respect. I hate another cliche "you're nobody until somebody loves you." I hate that.
Yes, of course it would be nice to be loved, but until that time comes, why should I have to be the one to be treated like dirt or a scapegoat? Seriously, why?

Anyway, I'm tired, and I'm going to bed now.