Some cats will own up to cattiness, others won't. Despite the sense of responsibility, I feel the need to express myself anyway.
I do have a personal background and experience with Miss Bell. She was a friend in high school, a slight friend through college, and in present times a sincere enemy.
During my high school years, my reputation was more of an innocent church girl. Even though I felt purposely tested by several friends through the time, I didn't really take a tough judgemental stance as what was seeming to be provoked from me. I played it cool and was there to be a friend anyway.
What disgusts me is when it gets to competition of having self respect. I mean people anal retentively play games. People anal retentively pigeon hole, trap, and have boundless definitions of what it means to lose respect.
Of course, regardless the bounds of self respect there is never a good excuse to rape or sexually abuse another.
Bell really has had a history of stripping and being provocative with men. I think she has been with women as well.
It was never really my aim to be exploitive, but its way too late in the game to have any reasonable argument for me to not be defensive and argumentative, especially from an enemy who was the first to plot and be exploitive of me herself.
Anyway, when it all gets boiled down, it really is a territorial issue on my part. Maggie is a manipulator. She wants things done her way; she wants to be the one calling the shots; she has a possessive mentality.
In survival, I really have been threatened on several occassions. I have experienced several seriously unfair and unjust job losses which have already been in her favor. I am not afraid to be judgemental. It is what leads me to more frustration because I really am being forced to say something and disclose thoughts about others and myself that I probably would have never cared to share anyway. It leads to proof of wanting control of territory.
She really does want to use this social issue as a means to manipulate to gain more control and power over more people.
That is why I am mad. She really is the one who is in most defense to turn it into such a limelighted competition to try to prove who is wrong and who is right.
Because I already have suffered numerous counts of sexual harassment and unfair losses in tangible survival, I really could care less if Maggie was seriously harmed because my life has been seriously harmed.
I think she is an unworthy opponent.
I don't think such a social issue should be used as a serious competition (when the competition in reality hasn't been focused on self respect but who is better in overall sexuality).
It disgusts me so much and I think she is such a pig when I have already suffered so much sexual harassment with some of it even being her responsibility to have the nerve to say she knows more about self respect than I do.
Besides the social issues concerning sexual harassment as a whole, I am a different personality type. I do not think it is her place or anybody's place at all for me to have to explain myself to them. It disgusts me when it is expected and when people get away with it.
But, if there is going to be a full fledged musical of Chicago over it, I at least want to share my personal experience and remind moreso that it is ultimately a territorial issue with me where there is no excuse to take control or call shots in my personal life.
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